Auto Mechanics 101

1.20.2009

So this is a story about a normal, everyday citizen. This citizen owned a car, which he drove to work every day. Over time, he began to notice that the car seemed to pull to the left quite hard. The problem was bad enough that one day it got the attention of a prominent (though somewhat remote) mechanic. The mechanic diagnosed the problem as a bad alignment and told the owner that he would have to keep the car for a few days until the problem was fixed.

This was terribly inconvenient for the owner of the car, but nonetheless, the mechanic insisted and left the man with no choice.

A couple of days passed and the mechanic could be heard hammering, drilling, and pounding away at the car. Given that the shop had large glass windows, spectators would watch the mechanic, sometimes questioning his techniques and approaches to fixing the car.

After some time, the owner came in to inquire about the status of the repairs. The mechanic claimed that although the car ran on a 4-cylinder engine, it really would perform better with a 6-cylinder engine.

The owner claimed "I realize that you think a different engine would better power my car, but I'm not sure I want a bigger engine!"

"Nonsense!" cried the mechanic, who continued to explain: "I power my own car with a 6-cylinder engine! It works wonders for me, so it should also work for you. Also, due to the increase in horsepower, we will also install a new and more sturdy suspension system and a more reinforced framework, as needed."

"Well," cried the man again, "I am not sure that I agree to this drastic alteration of the car's infrastructure!"

"Regardless, you will just have to step aside and let me finish my job." retorted the mechanic.

The mechanic kept the car in his shop for another week, as he tinkered here and there on this and that. When that owner entered the shop much later, the mechanic rolled his eyes as he prepared to take the defensive once again.

"I think that I would like my car back now. Is it fixed?", the owner inquired.

"Well, the good news is that the alignment is better than it was before." responded the mechanic.

"You mean that you fixed it?" asked the man.

"No, you'll still find a very noticeable pull to the left, but it is much better than when we started." replied the mechanic. "Now for some bad news ... it turns out that I feel as though the car is very vulnerable right now, and there are too many dangers that could potentially ruin the car if you were to drive it in your neighborhood without my supervision. It is best that the car remain in my shop and under my control indefinitely. Also, the cost of my repairs have far exceeded even the most liberal of estimates. But the good news is that my shop will absorb these costs for you."

"Boy, I feel bad for those people who would pick up such a tab..."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Anyway, they really have no choice in the matter."

"So," analyzed the owner, "if I have this correctly, the problem with the alignment was real, but in order to fix it, we made enormous repairs to the entire infrastructure of the car. Since there was an apparent lack of a cost-benefit analysis, as well as an nonexistent timeline, this fix seems to be not very pragmatic at all, don't you think? Also, why did you begin work on the car in the first place, when you did not have any idea how to properly and efficiently finish the repairs?"

"I refuse to think about that. Sure there may have been some 'disappointments' along the way, and I currently have the lowest automechanic ratings in all of the Yelp community, but I consciously remain obstinate when I say that 'this was the right thing to do!'"


This story continues even today. The car is no longer in the shop, but every time the owner drives the car, his mechanic insists on being in the passenger seat, instructing the owner constantly how to best drive this "rebuilt" automobile. Because the shop has such large glass windows, a mass of spectators recently witnessed the owner of the car remove his shoes and throw them at the mechanic.

Today we, as a community, will participate in a most historic change in upper management. I hope that the new shop mechanics will keep the repairs efficient, the costs low, and the reviews favorable.

Dollar menus

So this is just a quick thought that I had, and I want to put of out for the world to consider. Growing up in the 90's, I frequented fast food joints and ordered regularly from their dollar menus. Burger King, McD's, Carl Jr, taco bell... They all had the special priced items for cheapskates like me.

Tim McGraw sang in his hit song: "another meal, from the sack/a $0.99 heart attack."

Since those days, we have gone through unrealistic booms in the stock market and later a bubble as e-commerce burgeoned and caved during the turn of the century. We've been through war, inflation, the housing bubble, oil spikes based on speculation (and hedgefund-like trading). On and on and on.

What I'm coming to is the point that prices for goods have been somewhat volatile during this time. The average price of eggs have more than doubled, for example. And where is that dollar menu? Well, actually, it's still there. Hey, that's a good deal! But we are living in an economic day and age where retail establishments can either sell items or try to make a profit. When it comes to the dollar menu, I see two potential business possibilities:

1) They are selling their products at an enormous loss and should reconsider their business models or come to grips with the reality that is bankruptcy.

or

2) The quality of their products has deteriorated proportionally to the inverse of the rate of economic inflation--meaning that the goods that we are now consuming have become adulterated, watered-down, and compromised in order for these establishments to present themselves as profitable.

Anyway, that's just something to consider.

Fast food = fast death (now made with recycled materials in order to reduce costs)

The Wintry Day...

So Chicago got a very light dusting today. We spent nearly the whole day indoors today. We watched a movie, looked at many YouTube videos, paid some bills online, considered doing actual chores, etc. It was a very serene and restful day. We had all the curtains open and could see blistering winds and masses of horizontal snowfalls the entire day long. I kept mentioning to Livia about how glad I was to be indoors. I love being all cozy and under a down comforter on a stormy day. Unfortunately, being the husband of a pregnant woman, the lot eventually fell upon me to make a grocery run to the store. I gritted my teeth and headed out.

One perk to renting is that the sidewalks are taken care of for us. This is a picture of our front yard.



Our backyard was also piled high with snow...



...but not as high as our neighbors snowbank. We have a lot more yard that is available to put the snow, since none of us keep our cars in the backyard.



When I got to the actual driveway area, I realized that my running shoes were not going to cut it. I promptly went upstairs to put on my winter boots (and grab the camera).



Our downstairs neighbors have one of those boxy mini SUV's. Despite its unattractive aesthetics, the snow is unable to accumulate on the windows, as they are almost completely vertical. Our car, on the other hand, seems to beg the falling snow to accumulate on it.



The good thing is since the snow was so powdery and fresh, a good slam of the door was enough to clear the snow on the sides of the car. The trunk and hood proved to be plenty more onerous.

Livia's ultrasound

Hey all!

So this week marks our 12th week of pregnancy. This week is also important because we had our first doctor's visit. It was pretty exciting to be able to consult with the physician and ask all kinds of questions. Anyway, without saying anything more, here is the ultrasound:

(click to enlarge)

What is amazing is that the little baby was moving around so much! It was so active in there, that it looked like it was trying to do pushups and crunches at the same time! There were actually better images on the screen than these ones, but the doctor couldn't take them before the baby would move out of the screenshot. All the movement made it very hard for the doctor to get a heartbeat. I think eventually she gave up and said that she'll get it next time. I do hope that the kid doesn't have ADHD when he comes out. (note: psychologists no longer call it ADHD; it's just ADD now)


So as you can see from the above picture, our baby is currently in the ET stage of gestation. That's the Extra-terrestrial stage, because he looks like a little alien in there. Right now the length of the curled-up body just over 50mm, or about 2". The baby spends most of the day cowering in a fetal position. We will have to work with him on that when he gets out, as that can be perceived as weak and vulnerable in the real world. He needs to be strong if he is going to be a hockey player. And you need excellent posture to be a musician--which be will be, of course.

Sledding videos

Just a fair warning to everyone. For some reason, these videos are very big files. I would attempt to watch these with a decently-fast internet connection. Also, as you scroll down the page, the music may turn on (the music player is on the right side of the page). Just pause it and you'll be good to go.



Andy and Brandon racing down the slopes! Andy just about slams into a large pile of rocks and chunks of asphalt, whilst Brandon coasts to victory.




Next up is Sean and Andy. Unseen is a moment when Andy tries to cheat by grabbing Sean's board and holding him back. This forces Andy to veer off-path into a large tree. Sean finishes while slamming into some large sage bush.




So here is the grand finale of all races. Unfortunately, though the boogie boards are very fast on the slopes, the rider can usually feel every bump. It's a rattling experience. Also unfortunately for Andy, the tube just isn't race material. And of course Sean finds his favorite bush...




Eventually we started pulling each other with the ATV. The next day we went out and began construction of a jump, so as to clear like 3' of sweet air.

Perhaps the best video of all...

Sledding in the back yard

Okay, so we didn't do sledding in the backyard; it was actually in the front yard on the big hill. And the term "sledding" is being used very loosely, as we had one inner tube and a few boogie boards. Ingenuity is often a result of a lack of resources. It turns out that the boards actually slide rather well.

The day started out with Sarah, Brandon, and me.


Sarah stuck to the bunny hill on the inner tube. She may be the smarter member of our group, as she experienced no bodily injuries. But if you don't get hurt, then it's no fun, right?

...right?

Andy eventually joined us.


We brought one of the ATV's out. My bright idea was that we could sled down the hill, and then a designated driver would tow us up the hill so that we wouldn't get so tired walking up the slope.


Andy had the mission of creating a trail for the ATV. Unfortunately, the snow was thick and powdery, and he got the thing stuck. Unbeknownst to him, I mocked him tacitly.


Only moments later I veered off-trail and got it stuck myself.


Sticking to the beaten path!

I will work on getting some videos posted shortly

Post-Christmas festivities

Not to be forgotten during the holiday season are those people whose birthdays lie between the Christmas and New Year's day. Here is Rachael on her birthday.

To celebrate Rachael's birthday, the Tom and Brynn Nufer family migrated down to Cedar City, with the Nufer grandparents right on their heels.

One of the biggest surprises for Livia and me was that little Baby Grace was full of life and expression. At one point I found her talking to nobody at all, while holding a toy to the side of her head. I asked her about it and she explained that she was preparing herself for the teenybopper years when she will have her own cell phone and unlimited minutes. (This also explained why she was frantically pushing buttons on the TV remote, even when the TV was not turned on--preparation for the massive texting that she is anticipating)

Grandpa Nufer has gone digital and actively snapped pictures throughout the evening. And here am I snapping behind his back...

One of the games played was musical chairs. Tommy, the good big brother, remembered whose birthday it was. Though Rachael would have indubitably dominated even if it wasn't her special day.

Baby Grace loved the air hockey table, even when it wasn't turned on. Also admire the bling on her right hand. With that 30 carat rock, she's already turning out to be somewhat high-maintenance.

The main difference between Tom's and my approaches to candid photography is that he makes it look good

Up close and personal with the birthday girl!

The good thing about being the birthday girls is that your older siblings act as secret service. Katherine vigilantly watches over the the present-opening ceremony, while Tommy (in the background) represents the hood. He's got her back.


Meanwhile Sean strikes a mean pose for the camera. That pose really should not have been caught on camera since it's not nearly ready enough for public viewing. He will definitely need to work on it. Perhaps it will be called "magnolia steel".

By the end of the week, that was just a lot of partying. Even the pets got worn out with all the fun and excitement.

Christmas in Cedar City

Another year and another Christmas. We were lucky enough to be able to travel to Ceday City this year and spend the holidays with family. This was by far the very best Christmas of the year. And now for the walkthrough...

A common theme of the trip was sewing. Sarah made a quilt, Mom and Livia sewed pajama bottoms for everyone, as well as sewed a costume for Rachel, etc.


Instead of having a fresh Christmas tree, the parents donated the tree money to a charity. As a substitute, we had four fake trees of various sizes. We called it the Christmas forest. That's one tradition that is very costly. We pay for a tree, we pay to decorate it, and then we pay to recycle it.


The stockings were too laden to be hung this year, so they "conglomerated" 'round the chimney with care.


I'm thinking that Andy could fit both of his feet into one of those stockings...


Andy and Amanda discuss stuff and things in the corner


The biggest present was Sarah's new airhockey table. This was definitely a hit throughout the week. As soon as the table would turn on, people would convene (with sparks of determination aglow in their eyes). This same phenomenon occurs as people open cans of cat food and cats seem to materialize from nothing.


The booty


Sarah and Brandon sit ripe with anticipation...


...as do Amanda and Andy


Amanda devilishly sprouted horns from her forehead...


Livia, 小さい女生徒は興奮する
:) hahaha :)


Brandon got a sweet Wusthof knife and cutting board. I asked if I could borrow it sometime, and the following picture ensued.


Mom made all the girls pretty aprons. She used a basic pattern, but the designs are all original. Very cute, etc.


And they are reversible, appropriate for those bi-polar days when you're not content with the status quo.


I guess the joke is something along the lines of when the Lion King first begins, the verses include African chants that repeat: "pink pajamas, penguins on the bottom"


The aftermath


The air hockey table is such that there are between 2-6 goals to defend. We played both in teams and 1 vs 1 vs 1 vs 1 vs 1 vs 1. It was madness at all times. Pucks constantly flew off the table at breaktooth speeds. We eventually began wearing helmets and other protective gear. It was brutal. Sarah and Brandon made us sign notarized waivers of responsibility in order to repudiate any litigation claiming damages.


Another theme of the season was boardgames. We played them all!


This was a shot that I snapped one morning before anyone else was up. The view is looking out the window over the back yard during sunrise. As I gazed over the crisp landscape of a yule-like scene, I couldn't help but marvel at the grandiose presence of wintertide at its full. Also, I was glad to be indoors.